


In a green sea

by tenmillionotters



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Fluff, Human AU, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Apocalypse, referenced character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 22:52:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13374774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters
Summary: Was everyone else punished to die when they wanted to live and he was punished to live when all he wanted was to reunite with his friends? But looking around now, breathing in the fresh air, feeling the warm spring sun on his skin… living like this could hardly be a punishment.





	In a green sea

The world ended many times before. Metaphorically speaking. 

The world ended one time. Literally. 

The world ended several times for him. Every time he had to watch one of his friends die. 

The world ended one time. When he had to let go of his lovers hand a last time. 

Itsuki sighed and pushed his glasses up. Yes, that was the life he was leading right now. He had imagined to whatever would come after the end of the world to look different, people expected the literal worst, from zombies to endless deserts to the sun exploding. 

No, the end of the world was quiet. Most of earth’s population had died in the war, one after the other just died. It weren’t bombs that killed them, it felt like their own resentment towards the human race took their lives away. 

Now earth’s population counted roughly 1 million people. The number rose and fell with each day. Itsuki lost interest in it. Sometimes he talked to the remaining survivors, everyone was family now. 

Technology never collapsed, it just kept on working without the humans that once created it. Now it worked with the humans who tried their best to find more of their kind in the vast oceans and forests that had grown in once pulsating cities. 

_Good morning Itsuki, did you sleep well?_

“... morning… I don’t remember that I turned the speakers on,” he rubbed over his eyes and yawned, the screens were already turned on, blinking while they did their best to calculate all the data their sentiment AI downloaded from the internet. 

_I did it myself. You’re avoiding me lately and I missed you._

Itsuki stopped in his tracks and stared at the camera that was installed on top of the construction, “You missed me…?” When did he develop emotions? Of course it was inevitable to give him thoughts of his own, something Itsuki didn’t want to deny him either but emotions were something different. 

_Yeah, I missed talking to you. It’s fun. Only your computers are strong enough to support my code. I can’t visit your foreign friends._

“... just wait a few more hours and your data will be comprised enough to transfer it into your brain,” at this point he was playing with fire but what else could he do. There were no Gods, no morals, no ethics. 

_I’m really looking forward to finally be able to meet you in person._

What should be say? Did he feel the same way? “Me too.” 

He had worked on this AI for 13 years now, it was a fully functioning adult. There weren’t any AI that started out as children. In the war they were used as soldiers, doctors, disposable junk. 

This one had a different purpose, a different body. 

“Did you ever think of me as your father?”, maybe it was an odd question but it’s been on his mind for a long while now. 

_If I could laugh I would. You wrote my code. That’s it. I know where I come from and my body is not a physical copy of yours. You’re the original, aren’t you?_

God, how he hated that question, “I am. I never got medial clones.” 

_I thought it was a requirement for soldiers to get medical clones._

So he read the articles. Well downloaded them, “Yes that’s right but I wasn’t a soldier. I was a doctor.” And he was still capable of building a computer like this, it wasn’t hard when he was honest. When his friends started dying one after the other they fell out of their usual roles either way. 

_What about my new body?_

Itsuki froze in place and carefully put his cup down. He was scared of this question, “It’s a clone I restored with parts of our computers and engines. You’ll have to eat and sleep once you’re in it… are you sure that you want it?” 

_Of course I am. I want to meet you._

Then there was nothing he could do but fulfil his wish. Not that it hadn’t been Itsuki’s initial plan in first place, “... well, then I’ll transfer the data now. Goodnight.”

 _I’ll see you tomorrow._

It was a state between anxiety and curiosity, failures and success. If anything went wrong 13 years of work and the last medical clone that existed in this area were lost. Even worse, he would have failed to achieve the one thing that kept him going all this time. 

His hand brushed over the glass tank. Inside, fast asleep, was his most important possession, something that could never be replaced. Maybe that made it all worse, knowing that their relationship would change forever once it would open its eyes and look at him. 

Itsuki went outside, on the way there he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror that hung beside the door frame. Time was kind to him, he had barely aged a day for 13 years. More maybe she was punishing him for not moving on. 

Once he stepped outside the warm sun kissed his skin, the noises he made attracted the animals. His dog barked happily, the cats meowed and ran towards him, their tails reaching up to a sky they would never touch. 

“Hey, sorry for making you wait,” he smiled and patted them, “You’re hungry right? I’ll make you breakfast.” For now he could stay with them, until nightfall. Then he would have to return to the bunker where he had spent so much time in the past years. When he was not talking to his overseas friends, he had spend his time building a little house. A home. 

He had enough materials, he had the knowhow. It was a cozy little cottage, a little balcony led to a treehouse he had build 4 years ago. His friends from Germany sent him their blueprints, working after their plans made it much easier. By now everything was overgrown with flowers. 

It was beautiful. 

“I wish everyone could see this…”, the end of the war, the world that slowly healed. When Itsuki closed his eyes he heard nothing. When he first stepped out of the bunker after the long silence, everytime he closed his eyes he could hear the bombs go off, he heard the gunshots. 

Towards the end the war was quieter. Everyone just gave up, but the noises haunted them at night. Thinking about it now, maybe that was the reason why everyone left him, the sudden silence and the noises at night could get too much too bear. 

A soft meowing to his right made him snap out of his thoughts, “I’m sorry, Ihei, I know you’re hungry.” 

He opened the door to his little cottage and his friends walked inside before him. Kishou stretched his tired legs and slumped down on the sofa, he yawned and closed his tired eyes. It seemed like he didn’t get any rest waiting for Itsuki. 

But the cats did, that meant they were more lively now, “Yes yes -” One after the other jumped onto the kitchen counter and sat down waiting for a slice of their favourite cheese. When he was honest he always thought that war meant that they would starve, but in reality, now that there were so little people, they had more than enough to eat. 

His heart sunk thinking about it, he would love to share all of this with someone but now it was too late. It was too late for so many things. While they did have enough to eat, they never had to pay for it. They just traded the food, there was no need for big factories or machines, it was a simpler life. Downsized to the number of people that was left. 

“I wonder if he’ll stop by today…”, Itsuki patted his cats while they ate their cheese, “I think a week has passed. He’ll need more vegetables.” His pantry was packed with pickled vegetables and fruits, jams and dried meats and fish. Everything that was fresh, like bread, eggs, milk, fish and meat was delivered to him. He only had to trade in a few of his goods for a week’s supply. 

Or he had to treat the wounds of whoever accompanied his fox faced friend on his journey into this no man's land. Every country was a no man’s land now, when he was honest. There was no set of rules, no rights, no rulers, no government. Everyone was tired of war and conflict, they lived in peace that came at a high cost. 

While the cats ate their breakfast, Kishou rolled on his back and yawned. He didn’t want to get up yet, he glimpsed at Itsuki who placed his bowl on the ground and barked softly, as if he were to say, thank you. No, it was Itsuki who had to thank him, it was less lonely with them around. 

Maybe new friends would join them soon, he didn’t mind. It seemed like Ihei had found a little friend, her belly was growing and she ate more than usual, but he couldn’t feel the babies yet, it was just wishful thinking for now. 

“I wonder if his name is also Koori,” he chuckled but wiped over his eyes, “I wish I could have met their baby.” There it was again, this heavy pain in his chest he felt every time he thought of them. Not that he wanted to forget about them, but maybe he needed a little more time to remember them as sweetly as nostalgia could possibly paint them.

The soft ringing of a bell reached his cottage from the hilltop to the right as the wind carried it to the hilltop on the left. So a week already did pass, Itsuki walked towards the door, startled by the noise Kishou got up and followed his master. A soft bark welcomed the visitor that parked his truck nearby the cottage. 

“Maru!”, a blond man with a foxish expression jumped out of the truck and smiled, “It’s good to see you again.” He used to be a medical clone, or so he told Itsuki. Unlike the others he was given freedom by his original, he was given a name and taught how to live freely. 

“It’s good to see you too, Itou,” a soft smile formed on his lips. Some good things came out of the unethical things they did, Itsuki hated the war, but he was born into it. 

Kishou bumped his nose against the young man’s hand, he knew what he had to do once he came here. 

“Yes, I’m sorry. I didn’t forget you, how could I forget the best boy in the world?”, Itou laughed and scratched the white dog behind his ears before giving him a treat, “Itsuki wait - you don’t have to pay me today… I need to ask you for a favour.” 

“Oh?”, that meant he needed to get his equipment ready, “What is it?” 

The door on the passenger’s side of the truck opened and a young woman slipped off the seat, she held her belly and walked over to the small group, “Hello…” She was a shy and timid woman, maybe pregnant for five months now. 

“Hello, how can I help you?”, it wasn’t because of the baby, apparently they had learned how to take care of expecting mothers very well in the village by the sea, but they didn’t know how to take care of a sprained ankle. 

While Itsuki took care of her pains, Itou filled up his pantry. The supplies should last for a week. Now for two people. It was a warm feeling, knowing that his friend would no longer be alone out here. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” she smiled and carefully took a step. 

“Be careful, you’re not completely healed yet. Rest a bit and come back if you need to,” it was odd to treat minor injuries now, before he had to sew shut open wounds and fight for his patients lives when he was barely an adult. Now he spent most of his days taking care of his vegetable and fruit garden and the animals that lived with him. 

“I’ll make sure she’ll be careful,” Itou rested his hand on her back and smiled brightly, “That’s what I promised our originals.” 

Oh? So she was a medical clone too. A very pretty one. She had light silver hair and deep grey eyes. Did he ever meet her original…? Maybe not, if they now lived in the town by the sea. 

Itsuki waved as he watched them drive back home. He didn’t feel well letting Itou go with nothing in return for this week’s favour, especially since he now got twice the amount of food he needed. 

Everyone knew of his project, nobody minded. It was a wish born out of loneliness and longing. Longing for someone to protect this place. How much time was left for him? His appearance would never let him know that his body also seemed to function well. 

Was everyone else punished to die when they wanted to live and he was punished to live when all he wanted was to reunite with his friends? But looking around now, breathing in the fresh air, feeling the warm spring sun on his skin… living like this could hardly be a punishment. 

“Would you like to join me for lunch, good sir?”, he bowed and Kishou stretched before he happily jumped around Itsuki. So that was a yes. 

There were no apples in the pantry left, he knew it because Kishou had shared the last one with him yesterday. The good thing was that there were still enough in his greenhouse. He could grow any fruit at any time of year, what an amazing achievement. 

It was quiet a walk until he reached the greenhouse, Kishou waited outside, wagging his tail knowing he would get delicious apples again. The smaller dogs with the weird faces didn’t like apples. More for him then. Though it was a little sad, he loved the odd dogs. There were 4 of them now. Ihei, Tako, Anpan and Marble. 

One day they just appeared, just like him and just like their master too. They just started existing in this beautiful, quiet world. 

Itsuki carefully placed five apples in his basket and closed the door of greenhouse, no need to lock it. Even if someone would pass by here and get hungry, they were free to take as much as they needed. There was no such thing as stealing food, there was more than enough for everyone. 

If they would ask him for a plate, he would offer them a seat at a set table. … if only someone would stop by… 

Kishou jumped through the high grass next to the path and barked happily, soon they would be home and eat their lunch. Then it was nap time. Nap time was an essential part of their day. Very important. 

Coming back to the cottage always felt oddly healing, no matter what happened it would always be there and even if he wouldn’t be there anymore one day, it would still stand for a while before nature would take it back. Just as it should be. 

Itsuki took his boots off and shut the door behind him once Kishou had shaken off the grass that was stuck in his white fur. Today it was time for pancakes. He liked them best with apple pieces in them, his friends had taught him to eat them this way. They were also much larger than the ones his other friends used to make. 

Eating sweets had been a rare treat during the war, now they could eat sweets 6 times a day. Or 3. Or 2. It depended on his willingness to get up and cook. 

Should he turn on the radio Itou gave him? He barely listened to music these days. Nobody bothered to produce anything new, only the old songs played on repeat. There were no stories anyone still wanted to tell. They just read what the people before them had left them, but they were happy with it. 

In a world like this, nobody needed to imagine far away places or a pain they would never feel again. Oh, but he did love music, it wasn’t like that. But the only music he listened to was the music he made for his friends. 

The cats were lying around, with their stomachs filled they didn’t bother asking Itsuki for more food. Every now and then they blinked at him and asked for affection. Kishou was content with the carefully prepared apple slices he got to eat. 

Itsuki carefully placed his heavy pan on the stove, it was an electric stove that relied on the energy the sun was willing to give. When there was no sun, there was still the wind. Everything was green now, from the cities, to the forest, to the shores, to the energy. 

The earth could finally breathe again and so did they. 

His small home slowly filled with the warm smell of warm batter, sweet honey and cinnamon. Today was the last day that he would only have to cook for one person. Starting tomorrow there would be two. 

The lonely cups in the cupboard would be used, there would be more noises. Someone else would play with the cats and the dog. Maybe he could help him taking care of the vegetable garden. But he needed to learn those things. Just downloading data from the internet wouldn’t be enough. 

… he also needed a place to sleep in the cottage, the bunker would merely function to communicate with the world outside of this place but Itsuki would try to spend less time there. 

So many things on his mind, but nothing in his stomach. He really should focus on his lunch now. Itsuki took his hot plate and walked upstairs, the entire building was openly structured, he watched Kishou chew on his food while the cats blinked at him. There wasn’t much he wanted to do alone, but he did want to eat his lunch alone on the balcony one last time.

Over the past decade he learned to appreciate the silence and he wanted to properly bid her farewell today. His meal tasted sweeter than usual, maybe because the apples were ripper. Or maybe he was just happy, yes… that was the reason. What an odd feeling, he took a deep breath and felt something move deep inside of his soul. It was as if everything fell into place, yes, that was how happiness must feel like. 

The dishes could wait, Itsuki placed them in the sink and let them soak in the clear water came from aquifer deep beneath the small cottage. Once he turned around all of his little friends were sitting behind him, waiting for him to give them his okay. They didn’t like sleeping in his bed unless he was there with them. 

Itsuki laughed and told them it’s okay if they already go ahead, but they waited for him. It was so easy to fall asleep surrounded by so many little sources of heat. They didn’t have to stay with him, they knew it, but knowing that they chose to made him incredibly happy. Hopefully it wouldn’t change once there were two humans around… 

The last time he slept alone, he slept longer than anticipated. Ihei softly touched his nose with her paw, she didn’t mean to be rude but the babies were hungry. Once they got up, everyone else stood up too. Even Kishou was hungry this morning. 

Before he could think of eating breakfast himself he had to think of his little ones. But even after he fed them he couldn’t really think of making breakfast for himself. Today was the day he had been waiting for for so long. Make or break. 

Itsuki put his boots on and let the animals roam free. Who knew if he would came back home any time soon, so it was better when they could just spend the day outside. 

His hands were shaking, his knees felt weak. Anxiety was a feeling he hadn’t known for a long time, but now it hit him with full force. He slowly opened the door and peeked inside. The screens were still running, only white noise was audible in the room.

… and soft breathing… Itsuki felt his heart nearly jump out of his body. The tank was drained of the liquid inside, the body now worked on its own but it was still asleep. He carefully detached the USB wire that connected the tank and the computer. Then he pushed open the glass lid for the first time ever. 

His eyes slowly opened, it was heavy, having a body felt heavy. He looked around and his eyes met Itsuki’s. He looked so different now, now that seeing him could actually trigger a response that didn’t rely on numbers but… chemicals. 

“Good morning.” 

“... h-he…”, what was that? He weakly rose his arm and touched his throat, why did his body vibrate when he spoke? 

“You still need to get used to your body, hm?”, he spoke so softly, it was so nice to hear the sound waves he produced ring in his ears and not hit against a microphone. 

“Y…”, speaking was harder than he thought, but he needed practise, “Ye…”

“Let’s take things easy,” Itsuki carefully picked him up, luckily the amount of metal in his body was small compared to what was actual flesh and blood. His skin was soft but he needed to wash off the tank’s liquid regardless. Now he was a human, not a medical clone anymore. 

He was warm, warm and strong. Itsuki could walk on his own, he didn’t, not yet. He couldn’t even speak nor did he have a name. A name… could be pick one for himself?

Once they approached the door he felt nervous, he had never seen the outside world. He only knew the bunker. 

Itsuki felt the body he held shaking, so he held him a bit tighter, “The sun might be brighter than you expect it to be, please don’t get scared by it and don’t look into it too long.” 

“Yes,” he still couldn’t make more sounds, no matter how much he would have liked to. It was a start though. 

Once they stepped outside he shut his eyes, but all the noises and smells made him curious. The bunker was the first smell he knew. Cold metal. Now it smelled like… grass, fresh air and the forest. Everything was green and wide like an ocean. 

Standing still for a moment didn’t hurt, Itsuki watched him look around in amazement until his gaze wandered back to Itsuki. His eyes were light grey and filled with amazement, he smiled at Itsuki before turning his head to the sound of a cat’s meow. 

He stretched his arm out and tried to touch the cat, but after a while he moaned in pain and let his arm fall back. 

“You’re still too weak to move, your muscles are fully developed but they were never used before,” their bodies were functional but not functioning. They were created to be harvested even down to the bones, but now they were free. 

What was that feeling in his chest? He wanted to play with the cat but his body didn’t let him. Now his chest felt heavy and he didn’t want to stay outside anymore. 

“Just give it some time and you’ll be okay,” Itsuki carried him inside, they walked past the living room and the kitchen, curious eyes tried to look at everything but they had to go the bathroom. 

He felt how Itsuki slowly put him on a stool and he nervously clung to him. Not because he couldn’t sit yet, but because it was cold. 

“Don’t worry, the water will warm you and once you’re clean we’ll dress you,” even though it would be easier to do it himself, Itsuki knew he had to do these things himself so his body would get used to moving on it’s own. 

Curiously he picked up the small container with shampoo and smelled it. It was so nice, it smelled exactly like Itsuki. He reached out to turn on the water and started rinsing his body off. 

The water was warm and tickled on his skin, if he could stay like this forever that would have been nice...

So he knew how that worked, he had enough time to study human behaviour after all. Itsuki turned away to give him privacy and to fill the tub with hot water. His muscles would hurt very day from now on, every break they would get would be welcome. 

“I’m done,” finally more words, it was still odd to use his vocal cords, so he didn’t want to talk much. He didn’t like the sound of his own voice yet. 

“Do you need help with getting into the tub?”, whether he liked it or not, he had to talk. 

“... yes… I can’t stand yet,” he was surprised that Itsuki didn’t care about his clothes getting wet, he just picked him up again and placed him in the bathtub. 

“I hope it’s not too hot,” it most probably was a shock to …, “... you don’t have a name…” 

“Yeah… you never named me and I never bothered about getting one either,” since he didn’t really feel the need to address himself as anything but a sentient computer program. 

“What kind of name would you like to be called by?”, he took his wet shirt off and wrung the water out of the fabric. 

For a moment he was lost in thought, he looked at the glass window to his right that slowly fogged up, “Sou… ta… Souta is nice.” 

“Well… then, Souta it’s nice to meet you.” 

“It’s nice to meet you too, Itsuki,” what a nice feeling it was to call him by his name and well his body react to it, finally he knew what happiness felt like. 

Lying in the bathtub must be… comfortable? Or was it cozy? Knowing what a word meant was nothing compared to finally experiencing what they felt like. 

“I’ll get you some dry clothes and then I’ll make you food, just call me when you want to get out of the tub,” standing there watching him play with the water was amusing but the world kept on turning, so he had to keep on going. 

Some of his old clothes should do, he didn’t want Souta to wear anything that belonged to someone who was now long dead. For a moment he stopped and looked up at the treehouse, it was the place where he kept all the memories of them alive, photos, their clothes, letters they wrote to him. Everything. 

They were all buried on the hill that nobody ever dared to cross, they slept under the stars, down below in the soil where they once came from. It was a peaceful sleep that nobody dared to disturb. Flowers grew in their wounds and their souls were free to go wherever they wanted. 

Kishou could read all the books he wanted to read, Koori never had to leave Ihei and their baby ever again, Rize could play in the meadows all day long… Everyone was free to do as pleased now, but as much as he wanted Chika to be free, he didn’t want to let him go either. 

How selfish of him, but in the end only the living could be selfish, maybe that was their greatest sin. 

Itsuki sighed and picked a few random clothes, poor Souta had probably soaked long enough, but when he took a peak he saw him staring out of the window in amazement. A pair of butterflies was dancing in the warm brise after nipping on the roses below the windowsill. Well, he would just let him enjoy the show. 

What should he cook? There were so many options, but for now something light would be the best, after all his stomach wasn’t used to taking in food yet. An egg drop soup with soft rice should do the job, yes. 

A soft paw touched his leg and claws pulled on his jeans, a soft meowing caught his attention. Ihei stared at him with her big blue eyes, her white fur smelled like hay and she meowed again. 

“You’re getting heavier, are the babies growing?”, he carefully lifted her up and laughed as she licked his face, “I love you too.” Itsuki carefully placed her on the counter and patted her little head. She’s gotten a lot more needy since she was pregnant, just like Ihei was, but all she really wanted back then was for Koori to come back to them. 

… to think that she died because of a broken heart shortly after they recovered his body… the only thing that eased the pain for him was to think that they met again in afterlife. All three of them. 

Little Ihei needed more food now, but the other cats didn’t mind, they let her have as much as she wanted and needed. Once her little stomach was filled she lied down in front of the window and purred happily while the sun shone on her. 

Itsuki watched her sleep, he smiled and went back to cooking. He was hungry too but he had to think of Souta first, while everything simmered he checked on him again. This time their eyes met and he felt his heartbreak, he could barely stand looking at him but it was something he had to do... 

“Can you help me get out of the tub?”, even though he needed help he tried his best to get out of it himself, it was hard but he managed somehow, Itsuki only needed to catch him as he slipped. 

“Careful…”, the sudden fear that he might hurt himself weighed even heavier on his heart than the pain he felt looking into his light grey eyes. 

“Sorry…”, his hands were shaking as he grabbed the towel and dried his skin, “Where are my clothes?” Before Itsuki could reply he had already spotted them himself, he clumsily walked over the chair on which Itsuki had placed them and put them aside to sit down. 

“Can you dress yourself?”, Itsuki was worried, he had to admit that. Worried and surprised that Souta could already walk so well. 

“Yes, don’t worry about me…”, was he ashamed? What an odd feeling, he didn’t want to rely on Itsuki. No, he wanted to be the one to support him. He had been lonely all this time, carrying a burden with a weight that Souta would never even begin to imagine. 

“Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen,” did he imagine things to go differently? When he was honest he didn’t have any expectations, he had never seen a medical clone come to life like this. Usually it was more difficult, they were like infants in the body of an adult, they had to learn and grow but Souta was an adult in the body of an adult. Just a clumsy one. 

Walking was hard and it hurt, just like in this fairytale that Itsuki’s Danish friend loved so much. But the little mermaid gained legs and lost her voice because she fell in love with a prince, Souta came to live for other reasons but… 

… didn’t he feel the same love the little mermaid carried in her heart? He stopped in his tracks for a moment and gazed at Itsuki. He was lost in thought, a white towel lazily thrown over his shoulder while he cooked. The warm spring sun softened his features and illuminated his deep and dark eyes. 

Was there a little bird in his chest? Probably so, one that was still caged and desperate to get out. 

“Can you walk here?”, seeing how slow he walked, Itsuki offered Souta the help he needed to reach the table. 

It was such a nice feeling to feel their hands touch, he wanted to be held by him again, but he knew that was nothing he could ask for so lightly, “Thank you…” 

The kitchen smelled like so many things that he didn’t know yet, but it left him with a warm longing… was it… hunger? No, appetite. He didn’t feel desperate to eat something, he just wanted to eat something. 

“We’ll try a small portion right now, you can have more if you like,” Itsuki filled two bowls with food and sat down next to Souta, “See, this is how you hold a spoon… you need to blow the food, it’s still hot you’ll might burn your tongue.” 

“Okay,” he watched him eat and tried to copy it, but his arms were still not used to movements like this. 

“Let me help you, open your mouth wide,” it was odd to feed a grown man, but Souta trusted him. What a bittersweet feeling it was, knowing that another person relied on him… only now he noticed how long his eyelashes were, his features were so soft. God what was he thinking - 

“It’s delicious,” his lips curled into a pleased smile, “Thank you.” 

Did it hurt? Yes, seeing him smile felt as if a knife was pushed right through his chest. Seeing something so beautiful made him want to die. 

They quietly finished their meal, Itsuki after Souta. He cleaned the kitchen while the younger one watched him, he didn’t get tired of it, he didn’t complain. 

“Do you want do so something else? Maybe read something?”, before he could protest, Itsuki picked him up and carried him in the small nook where he kept the books. He placed Souta on the small sofa next to the window and covered him with a blanket, “Read whatever you’d like to read. I’ll come back once I cleaned everything.” 

But he didn’t. It was already night when Itsuki returned to him from wherever he had been. Their eyes met and Souta noticed that the white in his eyes had a red tinge now, why was that so? 

“Let’s go to bed,” maybe it was wrong of him just to pick Souta up and carry him upstairs to the place he slept, but all of the animals were waiting and there was more than enough space for them. Itsuki slept next to the wall, Souta next to the banister. It was an uncomfortable distance, but neither wanted to close it for now. 

“Goodnight Itsuki,” but he got no reply. 

Souta felt a heavy weight on his chest when he woke up, a cat was lying on him. Itsuki had already gotten up, he was nowhere in sight. Maybe he turned into a cat overnight, “Good morning, cat Itsuki. It’s nice to meet you.” The cat meowed and yawned. 

“That’s Tako,” he stepped back inside from the balcony, “It looks like it’s going to rain today… it’s a shame, I wanted to show you the outside.” 

“It’s okay, really… I’d rather stay inside…”, his muscles were still sore, it wouldn’t be fun to be outside if he couldn’t run around. Souta scratched the lazy cat behind his ears and laughed, “Do you like that?” 

Itsuki smiled and waited for Tako to run downstairs before he picked Souta up again, “We need to eat breakfast.” 

Feeling his touch and the warmth of his body made Souta feel protected, his arms were shaking as he slowly wrapped them around Itsuki’s neck. Walking down the stairs was scary… 

But the breakfast Itsuki made was worth it, coffee was bitter, but sugar and milk made it better. Warm toast was delicious and it was even better with strawberry jam. 

He ate as eagerly as if the world would end at any given moment, but the world had already ended, so there was nothing for Souta to worry about. Nothing at all.

The afternoon came quickly, they sat side by side, back to back while Itsuki read a book to Souta who played with Ihei that slumped down in his lap. 

“Itsuki… why did you name her Ihei?”, did the name have a particular meaning?

Silence. Then he shut the book and sighed, “She has the same blue eyes as my friend Ihei did. I met her here, she was a nurse and her boyfriend a soldier. Ihei always talked about wanting to open a little shop once the war ended but… they didn’t make it…”

Oh. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked that, “What was my originals name?” 

Instead of an answer he got the continuation of the story, well… then it would be so, but Souta didn’t mind. It was comfortable like this, sitting next to Itsuki and waiting for sun to shine again. His fingertips traced the trails the raindrops left on the window while Itsuki’s voice filled the room and his head. 

“... that’s… it,” Itsuki’s voice was a little hoarse from reading but Souta’s excitement about the story made it worth it. While the older one prepared their dinner he didn’t stop asking questions about the story he heard. 

He was so curious that it made Itsuki forget about all the things that worried him about Souta coming to life. 

They ate a quiet dinner before going to bed, this time they slept closer to each other, not close enough to touch but the distance vanished little by little. 

Itsuki woke up to a cold breeze tickling his nose, Souta was up already, standing on the balcony smiling at him brightly, “The sun’s out!” A warm day was lying ahead, he could tell by the clear blue sky above their heads. 

“Then let’s eat so we can go outside,” this time he didn’t need to assist Souta who cautiously walked down the stairs. 

He sat down at the table and rubbed his legs, but he smiled brightly. Today oatmeal was on their breakfast plan, oatmeal and fresh fruit. Souta liked sweets the best. 

It was nice to see that he liked his meals so much, but at the same time it made him sad, he couldn't help but look at Souta even though it made him sad. When he was still a computer program without a name it was easier to deny the feelings he had, now it was hard. He was an actual living and breathing being. 

The dishes lazily soaked in cold water in the sink. Souta fed the cats while Itsuki brushed the dog, it was such a quiet and peaceful moment that Itsuki almost mistook for a dream.

Once they had taken care of the animals it was time to go outside. Even though Itsuki tried to stop him, Souta ran outside without putting shoes on. Maybe he just wanted to feel everything all at once, but who could blame him? 

“Itsuki! This feels amazing!”, Souta laughed as he ran through the grass and even when he fell he started laughing and rolled around on the ground, “This is so much better than I could have ever imagined…” 

Itsuki sat down next to him and smiled, “Is that so?” 

“Yeah…”, looking at the sky made him sad, happy and sad, “I was trapped in this computer for 13 years… now I can feel so many different things… and…” When he looked at Itsuki he forgot whatever he wanted to say. 

“Hm?” 

“... I think I finally understand why people say they’re happy to be alive…” 

Souta kept lying in the grass for most of the day, only when the smell of food lured him back into the cottage he got up. Sweet and sticky rice was a delicious meal, even though the warm taste of chocolate made him sleepy. 

The next thing he knew was that he woke up in their bed, it was already night time and Itsuki was sitting outside on the balcony. Souta dragged the warm blanket they shared outside, first he covered the other under the blanket and then himself. 

“The stars are more beautiful now, you know? When there were still a lot more humans they polluted the air… and you couldn’t see all the stars at night, but now you do…”, there was something sad in his words, “I feel guilty for being alive you know… I think that in every moment that I am happy I forget the people that died before me.” 

“... but you don’t, do you?”

“I hope I don’t, but…”, when it got late he felt more honest, “All this time I never allowed myself to move on, I thought… once I brought you to life… gave you a body… once I saw _him_ a last time, I could die in peace… but I met you… and I want to live… with you.”

What was this feeling? It was like a wave of fire that washed over his body. There was a word for this feeling, wishful thinking? Yes, maybe he was just getting his hopes up. Having a body was stressful… 

“I always thought a machine could never develop things like emotions, but you cared for me… I remember how you played lullabies for me when I was sleeping in the bunker and had a nightmare… also how you called my friends when I was feeling lonely,” Itsuki couldn’t hold back the tears that filled his eyes, in all these years he never allowed himself to cry, but now he had to, “All this time you looked out for me…” 

Did he really…? After all Itsuki was all he had but… no, that wasn’t honest. He knew that everything could have went differently, if he wouldn’t have rebelliously rewritten his code, if he had only served the purpose of filling an empty shell. 

“I just wanted to see Chika once again before I die, I thought… once I see him… even if it’s just a puppet, I could be happy, I regret that I never told him goodbye and he left… without…” 

What could he say? Souta took Itsuki’s hand and squeezed it tightly, he watched the fireflies dance in the moonlight while silverdrops rolled down Itsuki’s nose. 

“I am scared that … I forget him… I don’t want to forget him but in every moment that I allow myself to be happy with you, it feels like I’m letting him go,” whatever he wanted Souta to be, he wasn’t. He was Souta. A new person. His own person. He had been since he first started talking to him through the speakers that allowed him to, “... and the worst is… I know he would want me to do this…” 

“What do you mean…?” 

“He told me that whatever would happen, he loves me but he wishes for me to be happy and free… I think he knew that we would never see each other again and I got so mad at him I couldn’t reply… but once everything started growing around me, the flowers on his grave and the anticipation I felt… when we talked to each other I understood… I…”

Souta felt him squeeze his hand tighter, their eyes met and Itsuki smiled through the tears. Time would never stand still again now. The world wouldn’t end again. Maybe it didn’t even end in first place… it just started over again and even if flowers grew in old scars, the beautiful memories they once made wouldn’t be erased by it. 

“I think I love you.” 

The little bird in his chest grew bigger, now it was strong enough to escape the cage and Souta felt like crying, it was painful to feel the bird escape but at the same time it felt like he had been waiting for this moment since he began to exists in this world. 

“And I know that I love you… too…”


End file.
